Building Your Resilience in an Uncertain Time - Part 1

COVID-19 continues to bring a multitude of challenges to our daily lives.  Isolation, worry, financial loss, health issues, etc are common to the human experience these days.  On top of that, as a leader or executive you have the challenges of managing your team, an increase in remote workforce management, messaging the future, concerns about your organization’s economic viability-  and that’s the tip of the iceberg. 

What can you do for yourself to build and maintain your resilience in these uncertain times?  What can you do to effectively support your team and positively impact your organization? In this article I’ll share 5 tips for building your personal resilience and in part 2 later this week I’ll address how to manage your team and your leadership in the midst of the pandemic.

1. Wellness Habits

Now, more than ever is the time to stick with (and even increase) your self-care habits.  In addition to having the result of lower stress which in turn increases your immune system, your team needs you to be well.  You can’t be a great leader unless you take care of you. What are some of the essential components to consider for your own wellness habits?

  1. Meditation

    Are you already a meditator?  If so, now is a great time to continue your practice and increase your duration and/or frequency of meditation.  There are so many types of meditation to choose from. I have clients who do Transcendental Meditation, Mindfulness Meditation,  guided meditation… they all work! If this is new for you, check out mindful.org to get started and/or grab any of these phone apps such as:  Headspace, Calm, Insight Timer or 10% Happier. Research shows that as little as 10 minutes a day will make a positive difference in your brain.  As simple as it sounds to essentially do nothing, it is not easy! As someone who struggled to develop a meditation practice for myself, I found that just doing it consistently and not having any expectations was the key.  Last piece here - there is no perfect with meditation. For you Type A people, don’t even try to be perfect with meditating! 

  2.  Sleep

    If you are like me and many of my clients, you may have found yourself needing more sleep than usual and if so, honor what your body is telling you, allowing yourself to get the sleep your body needs.  The badge of honor executives used to wear about how little sleep they got and connecting that to how hard they worked should be shattered by the plethora of research on the benefits of sleep and the harm it does to not get 7-9 hours/night.  I won’t go into the biology and physiological processes that happen during sleep but I can share that inadequate sleep is linked with less productivity, lower emotional intelligence, poor decision making, craving for low quality carbs, risk of dementia and I can go on.  If this topic interests you, or if you are not sold on the benefits of adequate sleep check out Matthew Walker’s TED talk https://www.ted.com/talks/matt_walker_sleep_is_your_superpower?language=en.  He also has a great book, “Why We Sleep.”  

  3. Get outside

    How much are you getting outside each day?  It’s surprising how powerful it is to get outside daily no matter the weather.  There are many reasons for this. 1) being in nature builds resilience and lowers stress and blood pressure; 2) the sun is a great natural source of vitamin d which helps our immune system; 3) you need breaks from work and from being cooped up inside; 4) you’ll see people and animals (hopefully from a social distance length); 5) it will improve your mood and happiness.  I’ve been doing at least one walk per day and it feels good.  I noticed that if I’m spinning on a work task at my computer there’s no benefit from continuing to stay there but if I get out, I go back to work with clarity and a reset.

  4. Exercise

    I had such a great groove with exercise and my personal trainer before the quarantine.  And when the gym closed and I couldn’t get my butt kicked from my trainer I had a hard time finding a replacement that motivated me.  Sure, I could workout at home on my own which I did a little bit, or go running which I did a little bit, but it wasn’t the same and I noticed the beginnings of the “COVID-cushion”.   

    I was mindful that my current plan wasn’t working, nor was it really a plan, and I received some coaching on getting re-motivated that was helpful.  Happy to report that my trainer is working with me privately through Facetime creating a win-win for both of us and I’m independently doing her workouts at home in between sessions.  Yes!  

    You all know the benefits of exercise and with the pandemic and increased stress, it's even more important to continue (or start) an exercise plan.  It will pay dividends back to you with better sleep (unless you exercise too close to bedtime), improved mood, increased happiness, and more energy. Not to mention avoiding the “COVID cushion.”  There is recent research on improving brain health through exercise with studies on memory, dementia and Alzheimer’s. Here is just one of the sources: https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/regular-exercise-changes-brain-improve-memory-thinking-skills-201404097110.

    Remember that it’s important to have both aerobic exercise and strength training.  And it’s good to mix up what you do for exercise as the brain and body like novelty and variety.  If you only cycle, or only run as an example you are missing out on other muscle development, risking overuse of certain muscles and joints and you won’t get the full brain benefit as you would with mixing things up.

  5. Connect with friends and family

    As an extrovert, I was concerned that physical isolation and the cancellation of travel, meetings, and social events in person was going to be difficult to handle for an extended period of time.  Some of these activities referenced felt “obligatory” and there were a lot of them, so it’s been great to have less in the evening and convert meetings to virtual.  

    One of the positive aspects of the pandemic has been the increased connection with important relationships.  As I mentioned regarding the wellness practices, the act of phoning friends I haven’t spoken with in a while has been uplifting.  And a zoom call with my siblings to catch up together was really fun as compared to a conference call with no visuals.  

    Lydia Denworth, who wrote the book "Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, And Extraordinary Power Of Life's Fundamental Bond” talks about the biological benefits of connecting with friends. It increases your longevity and affects cardiovascular functioning, immune system functioning, cognitive health, mental health and even the rate at which your cells age.  There is a difference between just voice call and video conferencing. She reports that face-to-face interactions trigger more activity in the brain regions that are linked to social cognition and reward than other ways of connecting do. Eye contact activates our communication circuits. However, you still get a lot of benefit from virtual communication because hearing the voice of someone you care about can reduce your stress levels. Zoom video conference can make you feel connected and bonded, which releases oxytocin, which makes us feel good. And even just a text from a friend that makes you laugh is going to trigger endorphins, which also have a positive effect on your health.

    Bottom line is that social distancing does not have to equal social isolation.

    Look for blessings and what good can come from this

2. Look for blessings and what good can come from this

Like many situations notice your general tendency toward glass is half full or half empty.  By the way, it’s not all bad to be the person who is wired to detect threats, problems and other negative things before others that fall under “half empty.”  Even if your perspective may not be appreciated in the moment, it is useful when others are overly optimistic or minimizing concerns. These are the folks and you may be one of them who’s negativity bias (hard wired) is strong.   If you haven’t heard about the concept of negativity bias here’s a definition: ‘Negativity Bias’ refers to our proclivity to “attend to, learn from, and use negative information far more than positive information” (Vaish et al., 2008, p.383).  Among other things, it can explain why we often:

  • Recall criticism much more than compliments;

  • Dwell on negative or unpleasant experiences more than pleasant ones; and

  • Focus our attention more quickly on negative rather than positive information.

Even when we experience numerous good events in one day, negativity bias can cause us to focus on the sole ‘bad thing’ that occurred. It can lead us to ruminate on small things, worry over having ‘made a bad impression,’ and linger on negative comments and the like (Lupfer et al., 2000; Chen & Lurie, 2013; Wisco et al., 2014).  An example I see repeatedly is the reaction to a workplace performance evaluation or 360 degree feedback. Even after an overall excellent evaluation, the tendency to focus on the few critical comments over the positive feedback is strong for many people. This is a good topic for another article on how to combat negative bias if it’s ruling you. 

 I’m not saying be pollyanna about the pandemic, or force think positive outcomes from the pandemic.  What I do suggest is to be mindful and notice any little positive aspects coming from our new normal.  What I’ve noticed is that I’m cooking more which I enjoy and in the end is healthier for me than eating out.  I’ve noticed some of my neighbors extending themselves to help others. I’m appreciating more social, relaxed, downtime with my husband as I’m not going off to events in the evening (except the ones that are now virtual).  And with no travel I’m getting more done!

3. Minimize news exposure

The news is designed to be sensational to attract viewers and has a way of focusing on data points that are shocking and sometimes misleading without a bigger perspective.  I’m not saying live in a bubble and ignore all mainstream media, but rather have it in small doses with intention. For example, I don’t take in news until later in the day when I’m done with work.  Initially I was soaking it up throughout the day and noticed how it negatively affected my mood, therefore affecting how I showed up with coaching clients.  

Seek out reputable news sources that are not politicized.  Consider news from top scientists and physicians, versus other sources.  Be mindful of the impact of the news on you. Is it helping or hurting you?  The reality is that the important actionable information will come your way from friends and family members or colleagues.  Remember, anything you can do to lower your stress will help your immune system stay strong. 

4. Raising your positivity

There is a lot of research about the importance of positive emotions on well being.  And in a global crisis like we are in now, it’s ever more important to strategically raise your positive emotions.  You may be thinking that you don’t need this and that you are a glass is half full person, etc. The reality is that the seriousness and stress of this pandemic has a way of seeping in.  Many of my coaching clients who are very good at identifying the blessings and are outwardly positive, have found themselves experiencing worry, light anxiety, need to sleep more, increased self-medication like alcohol and Netflix binging.  In addition many are less focused and therefore struggling with their productivity. While it’s important to be mindful of whatever emotion or feeling is showing up for you and not resist it, it’s equally important to be strategic about increasing your positive emotions.  

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5. Mindful self -compassion

“Self-Compassion is not airy-fairy stuff…it is not fluffy. It is based on the hard-science understanding of how the brain regulates itself.”

Professor Paul Gilbert, founder of Compassion-Based Therapy

As a leader, you are high achieving, being watched for what you do or don’t do at work and are expected to have answers and wisdom.  At the same time you are in this pandemic like every other human and experiencing the impact on a personal level as well as professional.  It’s time to embrace the science of mindful self-compassion (MSC). MSC is the habit of treating yourself the way you would treat a friend who is experiencing difficulty. Through the practice, we teach ourselves how to become an inner ally instead of an inner enemy.

There has been a lot of research on this concept which is applicable to you as a leader.  Practically speaking, this means being OK with letting some things go. It means being kind to yourself when you address your employees with one message on Wednesday and have to contradict yourself on Thursday.  It means noticing and accepting when your focus and energy is low and allowing yourself a break without pushing through the feelings just to get it done. What MSC is not: self-pity, weakness, selfish, laziness, or excuse making.  

For a deeper dive on Mindful Self-Compassion and an assessment you can complete, click here:  https://centerformsc.org/learn-msc/

I hope you find this article valuable and a reminder that Part 2 will offer tips on helping your team be resilient and what to consider in your leadership as we continue in these uncertain times.  My best to you and as always please reach out with any questions or comments.